It Just Doesn't Make Sense.

I will warn you, this is not a typical blog post from me.  I'm not celebrating a new exercise milestone or a cool thing I found.  I just need an outlet.

So yesterday was a pretty emotional day.  Started out frustrating but I got over it.  Then on the way to the store with Shaun, there was a motorcycle accident we had to go around.  It looked bad.  The cyclist was still alive though.  However, later that night, I found out that they cyclist is the uncle of a friend from high school.  Put that image into a whole new, scary meaning.  Even before I knew someone who was related to the cyclist, I began crying and told Shaun to PLEASE not get a motorcycle.  He has wanted one for so long, but I have never liked them.  I always thought they were too dangerous.  I've known people to get killed from motorcycle accidents or become badly wounded.  Then I've known a few that could get up and walk away from an accident.  I just don't like motorcycles.  

About an hour or two later, I kind of forgot about the accident.  Then I got a phone call.

The co-owner of the company I work for called me on a Sunday afternoon.  He isn't super involved with what our company does because he is not in the mental health field.  He is a business man.  I found it odd that he would call me.  He started out with, " I have bad news for you."  Never a good thing.  My first thought was 'Am I losing my job?'  No.  He continued.  "(Your Boss) was on vacation with his son.  They were involved in a tragic accident, and they died."  

Wait.  My boss died?!  

The co-owner didn't have very many details.  He told me that my boss and his son had been missing for a couple days and were found dead.  I immediately started crying. 

I've only worked at this company for just over a year.  I was not real close with my boss, but he was still a nice guy and always pushed me to be better and to help when I needed assistance.  

I have been continuously searching Google for news reports or obituaries since I found out.  Well, today a story came out of The Salt Lake Tribune.  Apparently my boss and his son were found on Saturday, after being dead for a few days.  The article said that my boss lived in Pennsylvania.  Wrong.  He lives in Indiana. Ok, maybe he is FROM Pennsylvania, that I don't know, but I do know he certainly doesn't live there now.  The article continued on to say that they are suspecting a double suicide or a homicide-suicide.  Wait, what?!  That doesn't make sense.  AT ALL.  The sheriff is convinced that they were the only two people there and not a third person.  How are they convinced?  Nothing makes sense.  

Nothing.

The article has been updated since I started this blog.  The home states have been removed from the article.  I still want to hear from other sources.  I don't agree with this article.  Maybe I don't WANT to agree with it.  Either way, it is a sad, sad situation.  

Tiny White Light

So on my last blog I talked about how I am going to Zumba more and that I started running.  That is still happening.  I am pretty proud of myself that I have kept it up for quite a while...

Now comes the part about the tiny white light.  I had been stuck on 4 minutes of running for WEEKS.  I felt that I had hit a wall because after all this time, I still felt really tired after and I wasn't making progress.  I started feeling like I was going backwards.  I had a hard time running and breathing and I was starting to get bored with running.  I thought I was in trouble.  In the past, when I got to this particular point, that is when I would quit.  But not this time.  I talked to Shaun about it and I realized I just needed to try and make it past this bump in the road.  And I did.  A day or so after I talked to Shaun about it, I went back to the treadmill and did my 4 minutes.  As by some encouragement from God, I wasn't that tired afterwards.  That wall I thought I hit, I found a small crack to pick away at, with a tiny white light peeking from the other side.  The next time I went to the gym (several days later) I set the running for five minutes.  I did it.  I wasn't overly tired, and I completed it all.  It felt great!

There is one part about this running thing I don't like, still.  That part, is running on the running track at the gym when the treadmills are full.  I run just fine on a treadmill.  I don't run so well on concrete or on this running track.  This running track curves upward at an angle AND it is on the third floor of the gym, where taking one wrong step could lead me 3 floors down to my death.  There is a gate but it only comes up to about my stomach...I don't think that is safe.  Not only that, but my shins hurt a lot when I run on that track.  NOT. FUN.

I've started running BEFORE Zumba now.  I find it easier to run since I didn't spend the whole hour before dancing and jumping.  Instead, Zumba comes after I run.  At first, I was tired at the beginning of Zumba after my run, but slowly but surely it is balancing itself out.

One of the biggest things I wanted to share today, is this:

I FIT INTO MY SMALLER JEAN SIZE!!!

These jeans still fit around Christmas, but they were getting snug.  By the time my Grandmother's funeral rolled around, they didn't fit at all, and it wasn't pretty.  I can fit into them now, and I couldn't be more excited!  I still have a lot of work to do, but this was one of the only differences I have seen since I started upping my Zumba and running game.  Shaun told me a few times he noticed a difference in how I looked and how things fit, but I had a hard time seeing it, until now.

I need to stay strong...Lent is over which means I can have fast food, soda, and candy again.  I will admit that since Easter, I have had my share of all of the above, but I am going to try really hard to do it only in moderation.  I think I was trying to make up for the 40 or so days without it...that being said, I have Zumba and running tonight.  Need to get ready.

One last thing...for the past couple weeks our married couple friends, Chris and Katie, have been coming to our house once a week for dinner.  Katie and I plan a menu, decide who is bringing/making what, and then cooking it and eating it together with our husbands.  It is so much more fun to cook with someone and for more than just the two of us.  I hope this continues.

Ok, now maybe this is the last thing...sorry.  I have been feeling crafty lately.  I made a keepsake shadowbox from things from our wedding.  It includes the souvenir marriage license, the program from the wedding, our cake topper, Wolverine (also on our cake), my garter, and the ring bearer pillow.  It turned out really nice and I now have to find somewhere to hang it...  Next project includes a doggie hammock for my car and Shaun's truck so the dogs have a soft blanket to lay on that also straps to our headrests to keep them in the backseat.  It also serves to protect our seats as they shed  A LOT. I don't know how long it took me to vacuum the backseat of my car the other day trying to get all of their hair off...it was awful.

I think that is it for now...Toodles!

I'm bad at this...

I have the hiccups.

Also, I am not very good at this whole blogging thing.  Between work, my house, my husband and dogs, and just being tired, I have not blogged in over a month.  My apologies.  I did not give up, but I did get very behind (thanks for the encouragement Betsy!).

So, in a month, a lot has changed.  Mostly, it was my own thought process and motivation to finally do something about not being happy with how I look.

First thing is first:  Lent.  I have a love/hate relationship with the idea.  Yes, it is a good thing to sacrifice something, but I do get grumpy on Fridays when I can't have meat. I decided to try not to get grumpy about Lent and to look at it as a way to jump start the new, healthier me....and it's working. I gave up soda, candy, and most fast foods, since I relied way too heavily on them while I was working out of the home. I still go to Subway and Penn Station since I can just get a sandwich. For snacks, I try to eat healthier and my husband and I are cooking more at home as well.

I also started going to Friday night and Sunday afternoon Zumba.  I always tried to go to Monday and Wednesday night, but a lot of times my work schedule would not allow it.  Then I found out that the YMCA added Friday night and Sunday afternoon Zumba.  I immediately started attending.  To be honest, Friday and Sunday are my favorite times to go.  There is one instructor who does those classes, and I like her the best of the 3 on the Zumba squad.  I feel like I can't get enough Zumba.

In addition to all of that, I tried running on the treadmill.  I am trying to train myself to run a little, even though I hated running all my life. I started out walking one minute, running two minutes, then walking two minutes.  After a few trials, I wasn't that tired afterwards, so I bumped running up to three minutes.  I did that for a few trials and the same thing happened, I wasn't that tired.  I dared myself to bump the running up to four minutes one day when my husband accompanied me to the Y.  That's where I reside as of now. That has been in a matter of about three weeks, and I am impressed with myself. Not to mention that I do this running thing AFTER I had an hour of Zumba with jumping and quick movements.  I remember when I would be wiped after just Zumba...

Now for The Great Laundry Challenge, Take 2.  I have cycled through jeans, workout clothes, and sleep socks.  I have gotten rid of a few shirts and thrown away some socks and underwear that I just didn't like or that weren't comfortable.  While thinking of this challenge, especially since this is the second time of doing this, I really am only doing this to get rid of shirts, socks, and underwear.  Mostly.  I do need to wear everything else to see if I can get rid of anything, but that's what it boils down to.  So, onward.

Last thing.  I mentioned that my husband and I have tried to eat healthier.  I tried stuffed salmon from Sam's Club the other day.  Now, if you know me, I HATE fish, except tuna.  The taste, texture, and smell.  Doesn't matter how you make it, I don't care for it. Now, this is probably the Catholic thinking in me, but I do not count shrimp, crab, scallops, etc (seafood), fish.  It just isn't.  My husband really wanted the stuffed salmon, so I said I would try it.  Verdict:  I loved it.  I still think that it was because it was stuffed with shrimp, crab, and whatever else, so I liked that and would only take a bite of salmon with the stuffing.  I'm making progress.  Baby steps.

Ok, really, this is the last thing.  I tried a "healthy sweet snack" tonight.  Banana oat cookies.  (Recipe here).  All it is:  2 Bananas, 1 cup of Oats, and if you would like, add a handful of cinnamon, walnuts, coconut, chocolate chips, etc.  I did a handful of mini chocolate chips in the batch I made tonight.  Verdict:  DELICIOUS.  They are a perfect amount of sweet and pretty healthy.  You should try some.  :)

I will try to post more frequently on any progress I make.  Thanks for reading!

I'd Like to Know...

...when the HELL my weight got so out of control.

Pinterest Re-vamp

I've wanted to do this for a while but never took the time to do it.  So today, I did.

I use Pinterest a lot.  I mean a lot. I have gotten many craft ideas, home decor ideas, and LOTS of food ideas.  I have tried several and I have many, many more to try.  I tend to have a hard time finding recipes that I have tried from Pinterest on my "Looks Delicious" board as they don't all load at one time.  These recipes are the ones that I tried, and worked/did not work.  There are a few that I have tried that I would like to add to the blog, "Pinterest, you are Drunk" (which you can find here).  By the way, the blog is hilarious!  Anyway, I created a new board called "Tried and True" where I re-pinned what I have tried and how it turned out.  So if you want to check it out, click here.

On another note, I started Zumba back up.  I can't always go due to my crazy work schedule, but I go when I can and when I remember what day it is.  I used to go twice a week but with work, the wedding, and holidays, I had not been in a long time.  The past couple of times, I apparently did not try that hard since I barely broke a sweat.  However, tonight was a different story.  I was energized throughout the class and even after and I was sweating quite a bit.  It felt good.  :)

Death and Greek Yogurt

They don't go together. However, this is what my day has consisted of.

This morning, my grandmother who had Alzheimer's disease for several years joined my grandfather in Heaven.  She lived in a special memory care nursing home for about 7 years.  From what I have heard from the staff, my grandmother was the favorite resident in the home.  She was so sweet, but if someone pissed her off, watch out!  She was feisty!

For as long as I could remember, my grandmother has had this disease.  That's all I knew of her.  The "Real Grammy" was slipping away, but I do not remember her before the repetitive questions.  My parents always told me while we were on our way to Florida to just go with her questions, that was the disease.  That's what I did, and that's what I knew.

Luckily, I was able to make it up to Michigan to see her before she passed away.  I got a text on Tuesday afternoon that her health was failing quickly.  That night, Shaun and I were on our way.  It was hard to see her that sick, but I was grateful that I was able to get up there to see her one last time.  I sat in her room for three days and saw very gradual downhill changes.  The time came when I had to leave and get back home.  It was extremely difficult for me to leave knowing that this would be the last time that I would see her alive.  I am not going to lie, I cried for a good portion of the trip home.  I do have peace now knowing that she is not in pain and she is reunited with her husband in heaven.

Now for the Greek yogurt.  I am still not quite convinced that this is the greatest thing since sliced bread like a lot of people are saying.  I made a ranch dressing with it as the base...it's just okay. I also made Greek yogurt covered blueberries.  Those are pretty good.  Not too sure if I would try another recipe with Greek yogurt.  Guess I may have to see what else is in it...

The Great Laundry Challenge: Take Two is still underway.  Nothing big to report other than the fact that I did laundry today only to keep it from piling up in our closet.  My clothes are in a container ready to be put in an upstairs closet where it won't be touched until I am out of that item of clothing.

In other news, I have been cooking more at home, so I am happy that I am trying to better our lives by eating at home more and less at restaurants.

Fin. :)

Sister Hazel's Profound Words

Greetings, and welcome to my latest (and hopefully longest) blog.

I've been back and forth for several days on if I should restart a blog and what exactly it should be about.  When I look at myself, like most people, I see things I want to change. Now, you are probably thinking, "easier said than done", and I agree with you.  Just go with me on this...

First thing is first:  here is a little bit about me.  I got married on October 27, 2012 and I am a new wife.  Everyday is a new challenge for me.  How can I better myself, our home, our marriage?  Nothing is "wrong" per say, but I do not want to become complacent, I want to constantly be better.  

Several times I have tried to better myself, whether it be to eat right and exercise (hence my miserably failed blog in which I had three posts before quitting), to get rid of my clothing that did not fit, I did not like, or just to get rid of what I do not need, or to plan to clean/design/de-clutter our home. I have never really been that successful in any of these.  My most successful attempt was "The Great Laundry Challenge".  I actually wore everything in my closet and got rid of a lot of clothing, whether it was that it did not fit, I did not like it, or I was just tired of it.

The point of this blog is, more or less, to change my mind about how I feel about myself and what I want to change.  One of my favorite bands is a 90s band, Sister Hazel.  Ever since I first heard "All For You" I have loved them. I heard a song a while back called "Change Your Mind".  The lyrics spoke to me.  It seemed to sum up my thoughts and feelings and I could relate.  Basically, the lesson is that if you are tired of battling with yourself, maybe you should just change the way you think about things.  Since hearing that song, I have made it my motto.  

This blog may not have a specific goal in mind, but at least it should become a challenge to myself to find new ways to better things I want to change.  Within in this blog, I may have different things going on at one time.  I will try to not make it confusing.  :) 

First on my list is that I am starting back up on the Great Laundry Challenge.  My last load of laundry is in the washing machine (which now needs the dryer).  Starting today, I will begin on the long, long journey of not wearing the same thing twice before I have gone through my closet.  

Today, I am pledging (in writing) that I will better myself on any level I feel that I need a change.  I leave you with this...

Hey, Hey
Did you ever think
There might be another way
To just feel better,
Just feel better about today

Oh no-
If you never want to have
To turn and go away
You might feel better,
Might feel better if you stay

[Pre-chorus]
Yeah yeah
I bet you haven't heard
A word I've said
Yeah yeah
If you've had enough
Of all your tryin'
Just give up
The state of mind you're in:

[Chorus]
If you want to be somebody else,
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself
If you want to be somebody else
Change your mind...